Delusions of Grandeur or the Heat Mirage of Hope

I am in a new season of life, not only have I relocated my family half way across the country, I have also started a MFA program, and simultaneously been granted the opportunity to serve as a ministry leader in my church. With the class, work load, and rehearsal schedule all bringing themselves to bare in my life I find myself trying to obtain and execute what are the fundamental functions of Husband, Student, Teacher, Minister, and Manager. To be honest with you, these are not the most difficult aspects of this season. I think so far, the singular spur that has kept me awake at night is an unquenchable new appetite, it's this insatiable desire to build Kingdoms.

Even as I write the words "build Kingdoms" I think I should probably shape that so that it is more suitable to a conservative audience, but I believe this best describes what I feel. In each area of my life, when I look down the road two, five, ten years I have begun to see powerful institutions. Organizations that are really changing, challenging, and effecting their constituents and communities for Christ Jesus. Schools, Churches, Orphanages, Ministries  all of these working for the one Kingdom and in communion establishing that same kingdom, but in and of themselves they are like kingdoms. This part of my heart does not cease to move, nor does it rest, the workings of communication systems, electrical wiring, financial management, discipleship, product replication, recruitment and expansion populate a majority of my thoughts and often escort me to sleep.

What might be as wearing on me as the sleeplessness, is the present. Looking at where I currently stand and then glancing off in to the distance and seeing where its all going, or where It could go, and know that between here and there is more than I can see, more than I am currently equipped for, and more than I know. My hope is that what I am looking to is not a delusion, but an actual goal, a vision of what is to come. That it is what it appears to be and not an object being manipulated by the heat coming from the expanse that connects me to it.

What are your hopes for the environments and ministries the Lord has given  you to labor in? Where does your vision find its genesis? Do you struggle with the seemingly insurmountable distance of your goals? Are you currently running the Kingdom you saw from afar? How was the trip, and how did you get there? Or have you built a hutch along the path and stopped all together?  

FREE MUSIC!!!

You have got to love a guy who loves the Lord, and loves to sing about Him, and write about Him, and give away his charts!!!

Below is a link to Redman's chart page, just click to download, and start singing!

http://www.mattredman.com/chordcharts

Collapse from the Top Down

You never know when one of these things is going to reach and and grab you, but at any moment there are whole worlds of understanding just waiting to unfold in front of your eyes, or your minds eye I suppose. The theme of this post rotates around one thing, a theme all believers contemplate at least once in their walk (usually more than once) I would even suggest the Jesus himself pondered the idea. However before I launch let me give  you the ingredients.

1. I had a dream where I was being driven off of a cliff by some one who should not have been driving As I faced the bottom of the cliff a powerful calm came over me,
 
    "So this is it, this is how it ends."

Realizing the finality of the situation I waited to embrace Heaven.

* I understood that the standards for leadership had been compromised, and I was now being led off a cliff by some one who shouldn't have been leading.

2. While listening to NPR I heard a story of a Fireman who was caught in the collapse of the second World Trade Center. The reporter asked him what he thought about as he, on the second floor, heard the successive collisions of the hundred or so floors above him.

     "I was really calm" he said, "I figguhd, dis is it, dis is how it'ends."

As soon as he remarked on the calm he felt, my mind flashed back to the dream about my fateful car ride, and as if there were a voice of thought inside me, who's wisdom I cant claim, I heard

     "When there is moral failure in leadership, It leads to structural collapse"

This concept hit me square in the chest, and sat there for a long time. As a Worship Leader I know that there is a certain amount of responsibility placed on me in regards to my conduct both publicly and privately, but not just because of the "What would the Elders think?" scenario. I know that when I am in sin I am always going to lead poorly. I'm sure I have the fortitude to muster project completion, but how can I with a rebel spirit bring to bare the weight and glory of the cross, for the betterment of my team members and congregation, when I refuse to submit to its sweetness.

I pray this anecdote finds you in the right time and season, God Bless.

Contemporary to What?

Recently, I was asked to serve on a committee at my local church in San Antonio in regards to beginning a contemporary worship service at our church. The current style of worship is traditional and has been traditional for the past 150 years, so the idea of starting a contemporary service has been quite controversial to say the least. As I have served on the committee, reading members' emails and other correspondence, the question I keep asking myself is, "Contemporary to what?"

As I begin to pray about the aforementioned question, I began to think about worship in a different sense. When defined, contemporary actually means to exist along side. More often than not, contemporary and traditional tend to compete with one another. When Paul first writes to the Corinthian church, competition was alive and well. People were followers of Apollos, of Paul, of Cephas, and of Christ. Paul goes on to rebuke the church and talks to them about unity and the importance of working together for the advancement of the gospel. What does it say to a world that already things poorly of the church, when we can't seem to get along within our walls?

If we want to move away from competing worship styles, the church needs to move toward authentic worship. When juxtaposed to contemporary/traditional worship, authentic worship will win every time. When worship becomes authentic, then preference ceases to matter. When worship becomes authentic, we put aside our own interests and look toward the bigger picture, which is making Jesus the recipient of our worship.

What is authentic worship? Authentic worship is worshipping the Lord from our hearts without reservation. Rather than a style it is a matter of the heart.

Song Writing: A Community Event

     Bear with me as I unpack what I perceive as a personal fault. I am independently minded and often prefer to do things on my own, taking upon myself responsibilities that could easily be delegated to others.  Don't get me wrong, I know there is plenty of work to be done, and often, willing workers. Its not that I don't want to burden others with labors (which would be the selfless sounding response) quite simply, I don't trust them. This is not something I would consider a Leadership Strength. To my own peril I will avoid delegation and my justification for this is as follows: 

     If I do not give away the responsibility, Then I can not be disappointed with the outcome.

Meaning if the outcome is poor, I can only be upset with myself. I'm afraid the heart of this is that I find it easy for forgive myself and hard to forgive others. So how does this work in regards to song writing? 

     I have recently been spending a lot of time on the Worship Together blog (http://www.worshiptogether.com/). This sight is an excellent resource for professional and lay worshipers, with their product reviews, tutorials, and song charts. As I've been looking for new music to learn I continually come across videos of writing teams discussing their collaboration on a piece of music, and as they discuss their back and forth work process or the communion they experienced during the writing process, I look back at the list of songs I have composed and try to find any similar experience. Honestly I cant say that I have had one. Most of the music in my catalogue I wrote on my own. I suppose there is a satisfaction in ownership, but to be writing music for 10 years and never to have collaborated with another musician, I am more and more finding it hard to consider this a strength.

     So as worshipers, writers, and Christians the question I pose to you is this. How does/ should the idea of Christian Community influence your song writing process?